REd Eye

     "Forgot to tell u this: last night as I was putting her to bed she askd me if I was going to die someday. To say I was caught off guard is an understatement. I told her not for a verrrrrrrry long time and then she said "so then what?". Through my tears I found so much peace in being able to tell her that Heavenly Father makes it so that even after we die we will always be together so it is nothing to be sad about. The best part is that this was enough of an answer for her - she knew it was true. I love the thought of our four-person bubble forever :) lvz". This text from my wife has been echoing for days.... For obvious reasons, it makes me very happy and I enjoy the sound. On the other hand, it brings me to tears. I miss my kids and wife. For me, this is the hardest part of Ridefor9-11. When all is said and done, we will have sacrificed for those that have sacrificed.

        Saint Louis, MO in a small nutshell= Atomic Cowboy, unwinding friends, ice water, haunted houses, haunted people, 1800's architecture, zucchini salad, summer peach salad, The Mud House, graffiti, rail cars and their tracks, Mississippi River, rain swimming, rain running, pesto sea crackers, pears, shirtless, prostitute, black-tar heroin, "Buenos Dias", Vega Health Optimizer, macca, Cherokee, Foam, Metro, rainbow flags, slaves, Mia, es, Sulard, Lemp's  basements.

       I will remember tonight for as long as my heart beats. Occasionally, I find myself staring... disconnected... silent... completely removed from that which surrounds me. We were, in fact, in the presence of Achim Heukemes. Achim thought I was Frank Zappa and I thought he was, indeed, Jesus. On the wall behind him, hung a photograph of a firefighter rescuing a child from a burning building. I adore moments such as these. They make me feel very small. I will never accomplish what AchimHeukemes will... and I may never make a rescue like that one... and I certainly will never be mistaken for Jesus.... But, I will remember the silence.

         I'm not sure of tomorrow's route..  and I'm not sure I care. I will be riding for my teammates/brothers. I've always liked the half-way-point.... the Earth seems to tilt downhill from there. I'm grateful for this experience. At the end of the day, I will have hopefully learned. I'm excited for every one's progress, both physically and socially.

       

Happy Birthday Sharalyn !

        Happy Birthday Sharalyn! A few days ago I saw an orange horse. It all came together for me at this moment... I had been thinking a lot in the days leading up to this and really couldn't put a finger on what my feelings were. We had passed through so many towns and met so many people... and, this horse did it for me. It didn't take me long to figure out that the horse was orange because it had been rolling around in the orange mud of Oklahoma for quite some time. After time, we become what we roll around in. I had many thoughts of decisions I'd made growing up... I thought of so many people, living in so many different places... I remembered getting in trouble because of the people I surrounded myself with at that time.... naturally, I had thoughts of being raised a Mormon and deciding to be a part of it and it's family... Ultimately, I realized that we / I have decisions to make. Maybe it's about where we roll around. That horse will always be a horse, but... it's hair will certainly tell you where it's been and what it's been rolling around in.
        We've had so many highlights in the last few weeks. Seeing my family in Oklahoma was a big one. I will be forever in debt to them for their sacrifices. I'm not afraid to say that my family means everything to me. At times, I really don't care about too much more. For me, life is simple this way.
        Happy Birthday Sharalyn! I hope that your ride was everything you hoped it to be. I pray you remember some of the sights and sounds that day. I officially won't make it to your party. Happy Birthday! Thank you for the special spread. I cannot eat enough of it. It honestly makes me so happy and reminds me of Your day of riding.
        I wish I had so much more time to write..... I will never be able to write enough about my mom. I always feel like I'm cheating when she's around. If you don't know her.... you should. She makes everyone happy.
       
      

no title

      My wife is beautiful. Casey has an incredible ability to wait. When most jump- she stands. She is, in fact, the dancing flower in the tree house I vacationed today. The mandolin played as she listened, decoded, and smiled as a response... she tells the future. Over the years, Casey has taught me about reaction and patience. I've really tried to be patient with this service project. In doing so, many words have taken on new meanings.
       Love, wind, space, oxygen, magnet, star, honor, tumble, wings, rank, alive, seed, sand, birth, save, consume, grain, motion, stem, brother, same, different, moon, alarm, bargain, home, God, cultivate, stone, bone, rhythm, war, truth, soul, brave, joy, sail, country, floor, hands, red, white, blue, antelope, ghost, gun, lightening, bar, waste, shame, ashes, wire, pearls, resurrection, eyes, timid, oak, whiskey, gutter, sing, freedom, family, Satan, weakness, apple, melody, view, concern, faded, blues, them, us, we, window, storm, sundown, divide, tribute, sacrifice, heaven, gold, simple, summer, parade, tune, angels, dime, cedar, tram, dance, planet, last.
       Recently, I have studied birds and lightening. Birds are either sailors or pirates.... never both. As pirates and sailors, they are completely free. They listen... they decode... they respond... certainly, they will tell you your future. I like them most when they see me. Lightening keeps us in check. We wonder how far and when it's too late. It's energy is contagious. We want more but not too much.
       Today, I rode for Richard Picciotto. I have never met him nor do I know much about him. I read an advertisement that made me want to meet him... to hug him, to praise him, to love him. I think he's a good person. He has donated enough already.
       The last couple riding days, I have become a bird. I have had moments of freedom and moments of fear. I have listened, decoded, and responded. As a bird, I can respectfully honor others. I hopefully make music that people want to hear.
       Yesterday, I rode for Kent and Pam Miles. They are wonderful people. The best part about Pam is that she became very concerned about Casey and wanted her opinion of the ride before donating. Kent and Pam have always seemed to get it. They gave me a job when I was counting pennies.
       I love my family and friends
      
       
      
      

Paper Cities

            I've always enjoyed the atmosphere of a college campus. I look forward to USC Homecoming night with my wife and Father-in-Law. It's amazing to see so many people putting their hands together for a particular team. I wouldn't trade the days we spent surfing Campus Point for anything. I clearly remember posing in front of Harvard's gate, pretending I was clever and entitled to membership. The remains of my art work continue to sleep in the bushes next to the lagoon. I'm reminded of bar-fights and bicycle crashes, as my roommate now lives two streets over. I sincerely loved college and college life.
           While running the paved pathways of New Mexico University's today, I recognized familiar faces. They were confident faces... they were faces of uncertainty. Their eyes were focused, yet free. Their posture told a story of risk versus gain. I knew these people- I was one of them before. Like them, I knew the definition of sacrifice. Our moods seemed to fluctuate with the economy.
            Ridefor9-11 has made me a student again. Most nights for me end in prayer, asking for strength to finish. I love Ridefor 9-11 for it's simplicity. We are just firemen riding our bikes to raise money for two causes. Although there are risks, I believe we will eventually gain from this experience. I think we all benefited from the ride into Albuquerque. We took turns sacrificing our bodies by riding out ahead and pulling so that others could rest. I believe these to be small victories in a large war. We've all worked extra time and burned vacation days to help pay for the trip so that one day, we can pedal our bikes into New York City in the name of those that have lost their lives.
           I like this part of the country. New Mexico is a patient State. I think you really have to know a lot about yourself and what you like to get what you want. For this, I have had an incredible time here. The firemen at Fire Station 13 treated us like their own. I find this to be rare these days. They were enthusiastic about our ride. They were eager to support us, going as far as making me tofu tacos. I learned of La Luz Trail from the same fireman that took a few riders to coffee the next morning. I learned of a few vegan joints from a local. Giuseppe cafe treated us like Kings since they offer discounts to those that ride their bikes to the place. We explained we had ridden from Los Angeles and they held to their word. While swimming with Scott this evening, we had a perfect view of the Sandia Mountain Range. The Mint Tulip was definitely a highlight for me. A trip to Whole Foods made me feel at home.
          My experience running La Luz Trail is indescribable. I was able to carve ridefor9-11 in a tree at the top with the hopes that a few people will ask themselves what it is and why it's on a tree at 11,200 feet. For me, the ride is about giving. That mountain gave me a lot to think about so it only seemed right. I was offered a free beverage at the top for my efforts and took the tram down in silence. Shortly after, I hitched a ride with a print-making student and her Dad back to the hotel. I'm glad I met them and I appreciated their service. It really was a day of giving. You have to be patient with New Mexico and it will love you.
          I'm excited to be on the bike again tomorrow. I will be riding for Kellie and Daniel Hames. I didn't have any money give them for my ride back to the hotel, so I'll ride for them as a thank you. I apologize for my shirt-less body and lack of directions. Who would of thought North Dakota residence could be so friendly. Thank you for dropping me off and not taking me to some creepy field and killing me.
          For those interested: YouTube.com/watch?V=AAnQFxP_Ssl     I have had this song on repeat for the entire trip.......
          
           
          

           
         

Show Low / Quemada

      The last few days can be summed up by the title of a book I started today: The Story of the American West ... Told through the lives of Apaches, Mountain Men, Hispanics, Soldiers, Mormons, Cowboys, Blacks, Outlaws and others, who struggled in Arizona's White Mountains, one of the last untamed Regions of the West..... I have felt different since we left Scottsdale, AZ. For awhile I believed it was the "energy vortex" of the AZ mountains. I believed in red rock and it's power to heal. Although I enjoyed climbing through glorious Pine trees at 8,000 feet, I'm sure that wasn't it either. I have had moments of feeling brave and free, as the "Mountain Men" may have felt. It wasn't until we rode into Quemada, NM did I understand my new feeling. Like never before, did I realize that, in fact, I am American. I am also a Mormon. My Father-in-Law Eric explained that we are on "Mormon" soil on a Sunday. The book calls this land "untamed" and "fighting land". While on a run tonight, I had visions of Pioneers cresting the mountain range here in Quemada. I may never officially know the reasons for feeling different but I'm OK with that.
       If I had to pick a group to belong to from the book, I'd choose the Mountain Men. I would understand the land and know what berries to eat. I'd know my limits and strengths and use them to my advantage. I'd prefer to talk to myself or animals rather than humans as I would learn more. I'd know when and where to be so I'd have luck on my side. I'd protect my loot with a stare. My family would carve my name into a slab and call that mountain mine. I'd run shirtless for days and make my own clothes. I'd teach my kids to love themselves and be kind to others...... I think Mountain Men are both American and Mormon and this is the reason for my strange feeling.
       Placed high above customer's heads in the Largo Cafe, hangs a flag that identifies the names of those lost during 9-11. In my head, I heard Marv say that we wouldn't be at war if it weren't for 9-11. As other riders studied the flag, I studied their faces. This told me a lot about them. One of the best parts of this journey is observing.
        While on a run tonight, I gathered pictures and evidence hoping to take a piece of Quemada with me. I managed to bring back a horse shoe and necklace. I was a little nervous running the streets and trails alone as we sat next to a gentleman and his gun while we ate dinner. Quemada, NM and it's people are "untamed".
        Tonight I missed another Sunday dinner. I hope that my family understands. I pray Casey and kids get out early before the hair-pulling and scratching. This is a common theme for Steve and Sue's dinners.
        I rode my bike to Show Low for Beth and Roberta. As we climbed high above the tree line, I thought of their donations. Beth and Roberta both make me very happy because of their loyalty to my wife. I cannot wait to see Beth in New York. She was at the send-off as well. All things beautiful make me think of Beth and her Mom. It only seemed right to ride for them as we were headed into the trees and through some of the most beautiful country I've ridden through.
        Today, I rode for Laurie and Hannah Taylor. I knew today would be refreshing and it was. I don't know Laurie and Hannah all that well, but... I do know that when I see them and talk with them, it's refreshing. Thank you for your donations and support.
       I will be thinking of those who died while we continue our journey through the Mythical West.
 
     
 
      

Scottsdale

    The other day, I was told we picked the wrong time to cross the country on bike. "It would simply be too hot, too dry, and really uncomfortable... even dangerous" he said. I thought about the timing of things and how things unfold. I imagined 343 people sitting in a room taking a written exam. I could see them being interviewed and judged. I watched towers crush them. I wondered if there would ever be a "right" time. I've always had visions of soldiers with missing limbs and broken hearts. In fact, I have painted them. History tells us, there may never be a "right" time to be soldier or a fireman. However, I believe there is a perfect time ride a bike across the USA. For me, that time is now.
    I spent many hours yesterday riding behind Jimmy. I studied the paint on his bike frame to pass some time and became mesmerized by it's colors. My daughter and I have spent many nights selecting our favorite stars. She seems to like the ones that move. I do not know much about stripes other than firemen wearing them on their sleeve to show years on the job. Some sort of status, if you will. Wearing stripes or a letterman's jacket has never been my thing, but, I do think they have their place. I'm just not sure where. I like that my eyes see the stars.
    I will summarize yesterday by this: one flat, familiar faces, chiropractor, ice bath, Fire station 602, kind people, not so kind people, quinoa /black bean sliders, fro yo, thoughts of Sadona, cactus, sand and trains.
    Today went like this: sleep, Haus bike shop, Sola cafe, The Herb Box, familiar face, eager heart, clear mind.
    I saw my kids and wife through a MacBook screen today. I never thought I'd say it but.... it was awesome! I called her phone and she picked up out of breath. This too, was awesome!
    Tomorrow I ride for Dan Schwarz and his family. Not only is he my wife's uncle, he is local.. and he is awesome. He drove 30 miles tonight to visit us. He made me feel at home. I figure I should ride for him and his family tomorrow as we may need to call for directions. Thank You Dan for your donation and your support.
   
   

Day 2 and 3

     After sleeping in a museum full of reptiles, we were on our way to a very tough day through the desert. I’ve been through Landcaster and nearby parts, but... this was the “real” desert. Our team of riders made it through a 132 mile day with temps in the 111-117 range. It’s hard to explain what your feet can feel like riding through heat like that. I’ve always wanted to know, and now I do. Many stops were made to shower each other off as our core temps were way too high. I’ve always wanted to experience this also... now I have. We made to the Colorado River as a team. I would say this portion of the ride was a victory.

    I chose to ride for Kenny Perry that day. He was supposed to make it out and ride, but couldn’t due to other reasons. This surprised me a bit because he loves riding his bike. In fact, I think he rides more than anyone I know. I chose to ride for him because of his dedication to life. He’s a super busy guy, but always makes time to live. I get this in the sense that we should always make time to do what we love. The other reason for riding for him is the fact that I knew day 2 would be exceptionally hard do to the weather and terrain. I’m pretty sure this is the part of riding that he loves. He helped me get through a pretty long day in the saddle.

     Day 3 was/is today. Again super hot temps. !0 gallons of water and ice gone. I learned that cool black road shoes are not always the best option. Again, hard to explain the foot”thing”. I continue to have numbness and tingling in my left hand. Hand have started to blister. I am happy though. Despite the heat and nagging blisters/numbness, I had a good day of riding. Today was a 109 mile day which took somewhere around 6-7ish hours in the saddle. 

     I had a very enjoyable run after the ride that took me through some sweet Arizona ranch land. It felt really good to run again as this is what I love most. I ended up in a washed out river bed with super thick sand. I cannot say I’ve ever wanted to run in hot Arizona sand, but I did, and it was worth it. I like to be alone most days so this little bit made me comfortable again.

    Today, I rode for Aunt Donelle and Grandma. They seem to move through life with ease. By no means do these two people have lives without struggles. You’d never know it though. They are incredible human beings. To be honest, sometimes I have felt closer to God when I have talked with them. I’m drawn to them and i’m not sure they it... and i’m sure I haven’t told them this. I wanted to ride with ease today. The thought of them and their generosity made today perfect. It should’ve been a pretty hard day, but wasn’t. Today was like them.

      Tonight we are sleeping in a very old jail. I’m looking forward to this. I hope it’s my only night of sleep in a jail. Wickensburg Is pleasant. The fireman have been gentlemen. We ate at some bar/saloon deal and I ordered another salad. I seem to be getting the same response from town to town. It blows their minds. I like this part of the country and it’s feel. People seem to be happy and well fed. Actually, I can tell that most are very receptive to what we are trying to do.

       It’s 11 o'clock - I need to go to bed. My wife and kids are always on my mind. I brought some of my wife’s lotion on the trip to remind me of her scent. Pretty weird but, I’m gonna miss her. Last night I wore a bracelet to bed made by my daughter. It takes her an hour to make these things and you can imagine how long that must seem for a three year old. My kids and wife seriously make me cry. They make me feel special.

      Day 4 into Scottsdale, AZ I am riding for The Ae family who graciously donated to ridefor9-11. Tomorrow is a short 60 something miler, mostly down hill. Their donation brings me to my knees!

      Ridefor9-11.org for video and other stuff.